Have you ever considered how much you truly trust God? That may sound like a strange question. We can easily say with our mouth that we trust Him completely, but is that really true? When things are going well, of course we can. There is nothing to complain about, nor is there anything to worry about. Sure God, I trust you completely. How about the areas of our vulnerability? I am talking about the areas within us that have been so severely hurt, can we really truly say we trust Him? Our trials and our life circumstances can most certainly reveal to us how deep our trust goes. When we lose the job that we thought was our greatest accomplishment, and the bank account that once was abundant is now showing a zero can we still say we trust God? What about when we find out our child, whom we care so deeply for does something that shakes the ground we stand on? Can we still say that we trust Him when the future we have been planning for, that we see so clearly in our mind and in our heart, is ripped out from under us? What about the marriage or relationship that we held so dear came to a shocking end? Can we trust God, or do we completely fall apart with thoughts of impending doom? Have you ever been there? Have you ever stood before God completely and utterly broken pleading for answers to the question of why? Yet in that moment, all you receive is silence. All you can feel is the absolute breaking of your heart as if it would erupt like a volcano bursting everywhere. These moments can most definitely take our breath away. I am not talking about the reference to love and beauty. I am talking about the heavy, resistant labor it takes for every breath that feels like at any moment it will just stop.
I have been there. What I have found is that my greatest area of weakness when it comes to trusting God is my heart. Having walked through years of heartache and emotional devastation, I realized I had built a wall around my heart. So, I thought. No one was ever going to hurt me again. EVER. No one would ever come within a million feet of it. Does anyone know what I am talking about? It’s the kind of brokenness that makes you question the very concept of love. You see, when you have suffered heartache at the hands of someone’s hatefulness, it becomes something you will guard with your life if you have to. You will build a wall that no one can climb. Until… that moment when someone actually tries to climb it. Then you get stuck between a struggle of wanting to trust them, but the pain of the past is always in the way. I realized this struggle can even happen with God. We sometimes find ourselves in situations that will truly test how much we trust God in our specific area of weakness. When we unconsciously make the decision to guard our heart instead of trusting God with it, we can end up even more broken hearted…as if that even seems possible.
I want to encourage you dear friend, that we CAN trust God even with those areas we want to protect. We can trust that He has our best interest in mind even when it seems far from true. I think about the story of the Shunammite woman in 2 Kings 4. Though we do not know her name, we know several things about her. We know that she was notable, she was hospitable, and she had CRAZY faith. Does anyone know what I am talking about? The kind of faith that believes in the unbelievable. The kind of faith that believes in a dream even when everything around her says it isn’t possible.
Here’s what happened. Elisha the prophet and his servant Gehazi went into Shunem, a very small village in Israel. They meet a Shunammite woman who offers them some food. Each time they came she would feed them. One day, she tells her husband that they should make a room for him so when Elisha comes, he will have a place to rest (v. 10). After seeing how concerned she was for them Elisha asks what he can do for her. She did not give an answer (v. 13), I would imagine because she was not looking for anything in return. Gehazi tells Elisha that the woman does not have a son and her husband is old. So, Elisha tells the woman that by the same time next year she will have a son. In her excitement she pleads with him to not lie to her (v.16). It seems to be something she could not imagine would happen. However, it did. She gives birth to a son (v. 17). Now when the son was older, something unexpected happens. He said that his head hurt and then he dies. This absolutely is a moment that would throw me into a panic. I think I would lose my mind. I know for sure I would be screaming and crying. Yet this woman remains calm. She lays her son on Elisha’s bed and sets out to find him. Her husband inquires as to why she is going to see the prophet. She simply responds, “It is well” (v.23).
When she arrives where Elisha is, he sends Gehazi to greet her and ask if everything is alright. Again, she replies, “It is well” (v.26). It is well?! Is she for real? She must be in shock, right? Her son is dead! How can she possibly say it is well? It is far from well. It is heart wrenching awful! Now when she gets to the man of God, Elisha, the Bible says she “caught him by the feet.” It does not say anything else about her composure. So, we do not know if she is still keeping it together or if she is now hysterical. We do know though that Elisha acknowledges that she is in deep distress by her action which is a sign of humility, grief and supplication. Concerning her situation, he makes an interesting statement, “the Lord has hidden it from me, and has not told me.” We know that it was common for God’s purposes that the prophets would know certain things; however, there were certain things that God did not reveal even to the prophets. This tells me that in some situations it may be necessary to know something ahead of time, while in others, it heightens the mystery of what is to come. Needless to say, Elisha came home with the woman and prayed to the Lord over the boy in addition to the physical actions he took in stretching himself out over him. Before long, a miracle took place (v.34-35). The boy came back to life!
Wow. What an amazing story. I do not know that I could compose myself the way she did while all of this is going on. I know in my own circumstances; I tend to be emotional. I am a crier. I am passionate and empathetic. I can cry at a commercial. I become fearful under extreme pressure. In the face of heartbreak, I had a ton of messy, tear wiping questions. How did this happen? Why did it happen? God, I thought you were going to…. You can insert whatever your situation and your questions may be too. That is what we do right? Let’s be honest. We do not like disappointment, and challenging circumstances. We especially do not like heartache. When these things happen, we want answers.
Well, the Shunammite woman did ask questions. She asked, “Did I ask a son of my lord? Did I not say, ‘Do not deceive me?” (v.28) They are reasonable questions after all. It is perfectly fine to ask. What I want you to see though is that she did not fall apart. She did not lose hope. She did not define her entire life by this one moment…and it was a HUGE moment. It was a moment many of us would have completely checked out of. Yet she didn’t. She held tight to her faith. She knew exactly who to go to. She knew exactly who could fix it. She did not stop along the way to tell everyone what happened. She went straight to the source and reminded him of his promise. She knew he promised her a son and she knew this did NOT look like the promise as she understood it. This was a gift God gave her, and even in that moment when it looked like He had taken it away, she was strong in her faith. I admire this woman’s strength and her faith. What is it that kept her faith so strong even when it looked like everything had fallen apart? Although it does not specify, I would have to say it is because she KNOWS who her God is. She knows that He is faithful. She knows that He is a promise keeper. She knows He is good even in the most horrific of circumstances.
Does this mean that God fixes everything? No. We see that in the world and in our lives every day. There is devastation and heartache everywhere. Our prodigal son may not return home. We may never get our job back. Our marriage or relationship may never be restored. We may never know why that person treated us so bad. We may still lose the house. Our loved one still died in spite of all our prayers. The questions you have swirling around in your head may never be answered. Although we do experience devastating events in our lives, we can be sure that God empathizes with our pain. His son died on the cross. He understands what that feels like. He is with us in our pain even when it feels like we are all alone. He puts our tears in His bottle and records it in His book (Psalm 56:8). Not a single tear falls from our eye that He is unaware of. He is not distant. Think of it this way, why would He put our tears in a bottle? The verse says God keeps record of our hurt. He does this because it is important to Him…WE are important to Him. His compassion is unending. He does not forget what we have been through.
God does not let us remain stuck in the pain of loss and devastation. Though we may not get back what was lost, God is working ALL things for our good (Romans 8:28). He is still working on our behalf. We may not see it because we only see the now. We do not see what He sees or the circumstances surrounding our losses. We do not see what He was protecting us from or what would have happened if we remained in that situation. There are a lot of unanswered questions. However, what we do know is that He is with us in every trial. He sees us and He feels our pain. He grieves with us. He will walk through it with us if we let Him; if we will let down our walls for God to come in to that deep place in our heart. He can take the sting of the painful loss and use it for something that will turn our pain into something beautiful. That does not mean we will never feel the pain of that loss again. I still have moments that I feel the loss of my Mother, who passed away many years ago. I still on occasion feel the pain in the memories of a difficult marriage. However, now I can see that the Lord is using that painful circumstance in my marriage for something beautiful. He is building a ministry that I would never have if I had not walked through that valley. Though there are other situations that trouble my heart, I wait and trust with hope because I know God is faithful. Never lose hope. He is still the God of miracles. The God of the mountains IS the God of the valleys. We CAN trust our unknown future to our known God. We won’t know until we see what He has done how He will use that painful circumstance. He is STILL writing redemption stories. It just may not look the way you thought or even hoped it would. But it will be good.
I pray for anyone who may be feeling “stuck” in their painful circumstances that you will find comfort in knowing that the Lord is near to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). I pray that the grip the pain has over you will be released and that you can give it to the Lord. I pray you will let down any walls you have built against Him through disappointment and anger. Let the Lord heal your wounded heart and know that He truly cares for you. Let Him breathe new life into the places you feel are dead. I pray that the Lord will wrap His arms around you, comfort you, and give you peace.
Gracefully Restored 